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Sun Mar 15, 2009 10:04 pm

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Posts: 251
Age: 36

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
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Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."
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ratings A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
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Sun Mar 15, 2009 10:39 pm

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Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:00 pm
Posts: 23

OK Dan ffs who bought you the joke book lol. :D :D :D



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Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:06 am

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Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:16 pm
Posts: 66

lol, keep dem comin :lol: :mrgreen:



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Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:46 am

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Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:04 pm
Posts: 267
Age: 36
Location: isle of wight,england

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:26 am

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Joined: Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:23 pm
Posts: 367
Age: 30

LMAO, lots of good ones there....

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